Paleo Cake Smoothie - A creamy and delicious paleo cake smoothie that will satisfy your cravings for cake and ice cream using Whole30 compliant ingredients!

Paleo Cake Smoothie

Y’all. I’ve had a tough week. Well, really I had a tough Thursday morning last week and everything since is just fallout. Suffice to say I found myself in need of some real comfort food but I didn’t want to break my Whole 30. This is why I let myself “bend” my Whole 30 and give in to the need for a comforting milkshake (a cake smoothie, to be exact) to soothe my wounded body.

Whole30 Cake Smoothie
Is there anything like a cool smoothie to soothe hot, blistery skin?
I spent Thursday morning in the emergency room after a glass pitcher full of boiling water exploded about 3″ from my torso. I wanted some iced tea, so I was making normal tea in a glass pitcher that was at room temperature. This is something I’ve done dozens of times, so I had no reason to worry about it. I even grabbed the kettle before it turned itself off, thinking it wasn’t as super-crazy-hot! Well, it was still plenty hot enough to shatter the glass pitcher and cover my stomach and right side with boiling water.
This was the first time in my life that I have been truly paralyzed by pain and in shock. Sure, I’ve been through some tough stuff before, but this was completely different. I wasn’t doing something reckless, thinking, “This could go badly,” and then it did. I made choices that should have kept me safe! But regardless, I found myself immobilized and screaming in the corner, knowing I needed to take off my burning wet clothes but unable to do so. Thank goodness my husband hadn’t gone into work yet! He brought me back to Earth and got me to the ER within 20 minutes of the accident.
Several hours and a heck of a lot of pain medicine later, we started figuring out how to make my comfort foods Whole 30. It never occurred to me to quit Whole30 just because I got injured. If anything, it was good timing because I can’t drink alcohol with my pain meds anyway! But seriously, I committed to Whole30 for my health. Just because my health takes a hit doesn’t mean my Whole30 commitment should!

Hot Burns, Cold Treats

First, I coached my husband through making me a delicious cashew milk and chia seed pudding. He threw a frozen banana, some cashew milk, date paste, and collagen (to help thicken and to help me heal!) into a blender then mixed in chia seeds. This thickened up beautifully into a rice-pudding-esque treat. I always had rice pudding or tapioca when I was sick as a kid. It’s one of my mom’s favorites, and nothing can compare to her homemade, stove-top eggy delights. But this came close enough that I got some comfort from a bowl or two!

I know it’s mostly mental, but I really believe the cold food and drink helped bring my burn temperature down. It felt hot the entire time we were out and didn’t start to cool until I was home again with my cold water bottle and applesauce from the fridge. I think this makes my milkshake craving a bit more forgivable. 😉

A Cake Smoothie?! How is this okay??

I know. A smoothie defies the Whole30 premise of eating and not drinking your nutrients and calories. It is tricking my brain into not being as full as it should be. It *gasp* could contain vanilla extract, which contains alcohol. And it could be used as a dessert substitute, which is a definite no-no. But you know what? There is no added sugar or sugar substitute of any kind, it is full of healthy fats, has a fruit and a vegetable in it, and keeps me from truly breaking my Whole30 with a dang cookie when I’m suffering from a severe burn wound. So I’m not going to be too hard on myself for this little paleo deviation and instead feel proud that I made such a healthful choice while trying to stay sane despite the pain.

So, yeah. Don’t treat this like breakfast. Don’t treat this like dessert. Maybe treat it like an after-school snack? Or maybe just reserve it as a last desperate play to prevent you from falling off the wagon entirely. But if it is in your Whole30, then let yourself make it and enjoy. Or, just enjoy it anyway because it’s dang delicious!

A creamy and delicious paleo cake smoothie that will satisfy your cravings for cake and ice cream using Whole30 compliant ingredients!
A creamy and delicious paleo cake smoothie that will satisfy your cravings for cake and ice cream using Whole30 compliant ingredients!
Paleo Cake Smoothie
  1. 1 small frozen banana
  2. 1 cup unsweetened cashew milk
  3. 1 cup ice
  4. 1/2 cup mashed sweet potato
  5. 1 Tbsp date paste
  6. 1 Tbsp vanilla extract / vanilla bean powder if you're a stickler for compliance
  7. 1 tsp cinnamon
  8. 1/4 tsp nutmeg
  9. 1 scoop collagen (optional, just makes it extra creamy)
  1. Dump everything into a blender and mix until smooth.
  1. We keep collagen on hand for bulletproof coffee and to make lattes creamier; it's just heaven in this milkshake!
  2. We also cook our sweet potatoes in the pressure cooker during Sunday food prep. It makes them super sweet and allows us to cook them without adding any additional oil!
  3. You can make your own date paste or order some on Amazon to keep in the fridge.
Domestic AF

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  1. […] I haven’t been rolling at quite the pace I’d like. My injury mid-January meant several days of limited movement and even more days of drug-addled ineptitude. […]

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